We all have things we would like to change about ourselves. Change is inevitable and change is good. Wanting to change aspects of yourself does not necessarily mean you don’t like being you, it simply means you wish to have more desirable characteristics; you wish to be a better you. Perhaps you want to lose weight, improve your social skills, grow closer to God, and be a qualified professional or even simply wanting to be a nicer person. Whatever you ultimately desire to change, the tips listed below will help you to be closer to your mark.
- Determine what needs to be improved and what doesn’t. It is important for you to identify exactly what it is you would like to change.
- Acknowledge qualities that do not require changing. Even though you may wish to change aspects of yourselves there are still qualities that you have that don’t require changing. Acknowledge these qualities and commend yourself for fostering them. These are assets of your personality.
- Set SMART goals. Set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. It is crucial to set goals that are SMART because when you do this you become motivated towards finding ways to achieve them.
- Maintain a positive attitude. A well-known quote states that “If the mind can conceive it you can achieve it.” The mind is very powerful and often times we demotivate ourselves without even knowing it. We all talk to ourselves in our heads and when start using words like ‘Can’t’, ‘Hard’, ‘Impossible’, ‘What if’ we decide not to start before we even try. Be conscious of what you say to yourself and what you allow others to say to you. The Dalai Lama once said, “The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.”
- Surround yourself with people that motivate and encourage you. Outside forces have a lot to do with who we are as an individual. If you surround yourself with negative people you become negative, but if you surround yourself with positive people you become a positive person. Surround yourself with people that have qualities you wish to emulate. Surround yourself with the Thinkers, the Believers, the Dreamers, the Hard-workers and the Motivators.
- Make your own needs a priority. Your needs are important, that is why they are your ‘needs’. People think the basic human needs are food, clothing and shelter but I learned in college about the Maslow Hierarchy of need, where a person needs love, safety, and esteem. Stop putting your needs on the back burner. It is a painful thing to lose yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that your needs are important too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too.
- Forgive people and move on. Hate is a powerful emotion. Don’t live with it dwelling in your heart. This hurts you more than the person that hurt you. Forgiveness is not only for the other person, it is also for you. Yes you won’t forget but the less time you spend hating the person the more time you can spend loving those that love you.
- Let go of regrets. In life we all make mistakes and we all do things we regret. You have to let go of these regrets in order to grow. Learn from your mistakes and don’t let them consume you. Look at everything as a blessing in disguise and leave the past in the past.
- Help other when you can. Yes, helping others can improve you as a person. The more you help others the more you help yourself as well. It is two folds. When you make a positive impact in someone’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own. Love begets love and kindness begets kindness. Be a kind person.
- Keep working towards personal growth. Let this be a perpetual cycle. Always work towards bettering yourself. You are a different person today than you were last year and condition your mind to be a different person next year than you are today and not just different but better.
Live good and love God!
Sherice A. Hill